Depression is real but so is God

I am on my 10th round with the spirit of depression and neither one of us seems to be willing to give in...I have rested, read my Bible, prayed, gone to the gym, taken long hot baths, indulged in my favorite television show or watched a comedy and he just won't leave me alone. This depression has become a heavy weight on my shoulders making me feel 50 lbs heavier on a good day. No matter the joy, the amount of accomplishments, the amount of compliments, or the uplifting from others, I feel that I am on the edge of tears! On the edge of an emotional breakdown while at the same time declaring that I am alone, I am useless, I am forgotten, I am anxious, I am everything but okay. 

This is depression... Depression is also the key to the door that holds every negative thing that has ever happened and it holds the power to make you feel that these things happened just yesterday. This has been defined as a chemical imbalance and in some cases medications can help. I will not totally deny the medications because they are made by the hands that God created, however, I see it more as a Spirit. A spirit the has to be cast out. I know this because I was on medication for years... zoloft, trazadone, ambien, others that I had to be taken off of almost as soon as I started them. These medications are temporary fixes, but the root of depression is embedded in your spirituality.. I can testify to this because I was healed by the power of God from depression and PTSD. 


"Depression is also the key to the door that holds every negative thing that has ever happened and it holds the power to make you feel that these things happened just yesterday". 
- Lady In The Wilderness

Unfortunately, since depression use to once dwell in my temple, it hungers to unpack it's belongings within me once again. Fortunately for me, I know that he is trying to move back in. So I fight him with every breath I have. He creeps into my dreams and leaves me fearful in the waking hours. He takes hold of my body making me feel that I am pushing against a brick wall with every step that I take. My eyes can not be awakened by any source of caffeine and I long for my bed to ultimately withdraw from the world. But I can't do this because He will win. He will leave me starving all day, holding my urine for hours, crying all the hydration from my body, and screaming on the inside knowing that no one will ever save me from his misery. Depression is real...

So after all else, what is it that you can do? Does it help to be reminded that you are not the only one suffering in this way....No...this never helps for me. How about someone reaching out to you to make sure that you are okay? No, I can barely answer my phone when I am in this state.... So what can you do?

First...you need to armor up...


If you notice, I have been referring to depression as a "He." Why? Because depression becomes just as real to me as someone standing in my room enjoying the sight of the misery it is bringing me. So I talk to him. I tell him that he has to go and he has no place in my home. I tell him that I will get out of bed, I will not let him continue to bring up negative things from my past, and that he will not continue to bully me. I make it clear to him who I am so that he will be reminded of whom he is picking a fight with. I talk to the Spirit of depression with the authority that God has given me over all evil. I have defeated depression in my human meekness with the help of the Holy Spirit but God has defeated it ultimately. As I am typing this now I can feel this spirit flee from me because he has realized that not only do I know who I am but I am also telling someone else that he has taken up residence within... I am multiplying and he is fearful of his ultimate defeat. So what is it that we must say to depression... 

-YOU WILL NOT DEFEAT ME! YOU WILL NOT HOLD ME DOWN! YOU CANNOT LIVE IN ME! YOU GOTS' TO GO AND I'M GONE WATCH YOU FLEE!-







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